Chippin' Away

Moving one day, one minute, one step at a time.

How? March 23, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — chippinaway @ 3:02 am

The last few days have been filled with many hows.  First of all, I should mention that our placement date for the boys was set for April 1st!  This is why the sudden increase in the number of hows.  Gosh, I’ve asked myself so many things.  How will we be ready by then?  How will we take care of 2 baby boys?  How are we going to afford it?  How are we going to love them even if they are going to leave us?  How do we support their biological mother?  How do you know what they eat?  How, how, how?

Some of these hows have been pretty simple to answer.  We will be ready because we have been blessed with time and a wonderful community of friends and family that are helping.  The foster mom they are with now has been kind enough to teach me all the things I need to know about formula, baby food, swaddling, toddlers, and any other question I have.  She’s wonderful.  My husband is a wonderful budget maker type of guy and has figured out all the necessary ways we will afford it.  We are fine.  We knew that before going in to this, but it’s still pretty nerve racking!  Probably the 2 biggest hows that I’ve been struggling with are how to attach and love on these boys even though in the back of my mind I know they’ll probably leave, and how to be supportive of the biological mother and father.

First, loving the boys.  Wow.  I can’t even believe this has been a concern.  I feel so guilty about it because, well, this is what we signed up for!  We knew this was a possibility from the beginning.  I shared in a previous post about reading in 1 Samuel Hannah’s dedication of her son to the Lord.  This has been a huge answer.  These are His children.  We will love them because of this.  I have also been reminded of Jesus’s love of children, His willingness to scoop them up and His desire for us to love them.  The Lord has told me that I will love these children as He does.  I will love them as He loves me.  Oh, and have I mentioned how freaking cute they are?  There is no way anyone would not attach to these boys right away!  They are so. stinking. cute.  Seriously.

Second, and most difficult for me lately, has been the idea of supporting and loving the biological mother and father of these boys.  Gosh.  The dirtiness of my heart has really come out on this one.  You see, we really do want to adopt.  But, we know that in the foster care system, this is not always what happens.  And we were taught a great deal about how the goal of the state is to reunite families.  As it should be.  Really, it’s not hard to believe that the best place for children is with their family.  Of course, that’s as long as the family take care of them and loves them.  That’s the thing.  These parents have made mistakes.  Bad ones.  And now, they are in the process of winning back their children from the state.  I fear for the boys.  I want them to be safe.  I want to take care of them.  Notice a trend? “I” is the start of each of those thoughts.  I’m reminded again that this is not about me.  In thinking on this, I was reminded of a lesson I heard from Dr. Karyn Purvis, a wonderful teacher on adopting/fostering children from hard places.  She spoke of Jesus and mentioned how every time Jesus saw someone, He saw their need, not their mistake.  With the woman at the well, he saw she needed the living water.  Even though he knew her mistake, he offered her a solution.  With tax collectors and other sinners, He saw their needs.  He gave them the good news.  He gave them their desires.  We are taught in the Word to meet the physical needs of those who need it.  We are taught to love each person as He has loved us.  Because we make mistakes too.  We sin too.  I have been trying really hard to be prayerful for the boys’ mom and dad.  Praying that they continue to work to get their kids back.  Praying that they mature and grow and are given good examples of parenting in their lives.  I do pray, also, that if their is something being hidden from the sight of CPS that it be revealed.  I pray for God to protect the boys and lead them to the right home, the home He has prepared for them.  I am trying to get my mind set on supporting their mom, bringing her pictures of the boys to visits, writing down what they do each day and keeping her updated on their progress.  These are things any mom would want to know and have.  You see, we might be the glimpse of Jesus she has.  Us loving on her babies as well as helping her just might help her know the love of Christ.  I pray for that.

I am not even going to pretend I have all this figured out.  I have a roller coaster of emotions and thoughts each day.  I am excited, nervous, sad, joyful…gosh just about everything!  I am confident in one thing, though.  This is the path the Lord set for us, and when we follow Him, it is where we are meant to be.

 

The Waiting is Over March 15, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — chippinaway @ 11:58 pm

Well, the waiting is over.  Mostly.  I don’t even really know how to write this post, but here goes.

We got a call for 2 baby boys, 6 months and 18 months.   They will be moving into our house by April 1st!!  I can’t tell you much about them, but I will mention that the goal of the state as of right now is reunification with her mother.  So, we aren’t sure how long they will be with us.  This is hard for me to handle.  I keep having so many thoughts!  What’s it gonna be like when they get here?  What’s it gonna be like when/if they leave???  Oh my.  I haven’t even met them yet and I already love them.  I knew that this is what we were doing, but man.  It’s all just flooding in now.

Jeff is so calm and I need that.  He told me, “we will love them like they are never leaving, and we’ll give them back when it’s time.”  Oh I love my husband.  He always knows what to say.  Tonight in my time with the Lord, I was reminded of a verse in 1 Samuel.  Hannah, who prayed and prayed for a son, dedicates him to the Lord and says, “For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made him.  Therefore, I have lent him to the Lord.  As long as he lives, he is lent to the Lord.”  See, I’ve been praying for these children to come, and they have been the Lord’s all along.  These are the Lord’s children and it is a wonderful honor and privelege to take care of them for a time.  I am resting in and clinging to that truth.

I knew this was going to be hard, but now that it’s here, I really know how hard it is going to be.  Foster and adoption is hard.  It comes with pain and sorrow attached to it.  These are children who have entered a state that was never intended.  They are orphaned.  Even when adoptions are a success, they are birthed from a painful situation.  But in Jesus there is healing.  In Him we and these children find strength.  In Jesus there is love.  In Jesus there is peace.

Please pray for us as we meet our new sweet babies tomorrow!

 

waiting…take 2 March 9, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — chippinaway @ 3:09 am
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Ok.  The more I thought on it and prayed about it last night, the more ridiculous my waiting rant became.  Here are some of my rambling thoughts.

First of all, waiting a week for a child is nothing compared to those families who have been waiting years to conceive or years to bring home their adopted baby who is currently living half way around the world.  Yes, foster care is very different than either of those things, but still.  Thinking about that turned my heart around pretty quickly and I am prayerful for those families.

You know what else hit me?  The Lord reminded me last night of the Christian responsibility for caring for the orphan.  He reminded me that I should rejoice that each of those other 2 children have a home to stay in now.  He reminded me that my desire, above all else, should be for every single one of His children to be taken care of.  By somebody.  This means that I should be anxiously awaiting and anticipating a time when there are more families waiting than there are children to take in.  What a wonderful thought that is!  We believers, the body of Christ, should be praying for that day to come!!  And we should also know that day will come.  If not now, then when we are all home with Him.

Also, how much worse is it for the child who is waiting?  I mean, here I am waiting around for a phone call in the comfort of my home with my 2 crazy dogs in a nice neighborhood in Austin.  There are children out there, about 163 million of them, that are waiting for a home to sleep in tonight.  They are waiting in their room, hoping their father doesn’t come home drunk and hurt them.  They are waiting in a group home here in Texas, hoping someone will go on a website, find them, and choose them to be theirs.  They are waiting in orphanages around the globe that are dirty, smelly, and filled with human feces.  They are waiting on the streets, begging for food and water, and hoping someone leaves some leftovers in the trash.  They are waiting with their slave owner who is loaning them out to men to earn money.  They are waiting.  Their waiting is aweful.  Mine is not.

Thank you Jesus for teaching me.

 

waiting… March 8, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — chippinaway @ 12:21 am
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Well, friends.  I have officially entered the “waiting anxiety” phase.  Which, honestly, is really disappointing.  I’m disappointed in myself today.  I have been preaching to myself to trust in the Lord’s perfect timing.  To rely on Him to place the children in our home that He has specifically picked out.  To continue to pray for the Lord’s preparation and building of our marriage.  To reveal His plan in His time.  I made it a grand total of 6 days before I fell off the “trust” horse.  Ugh.

Today was a little disappointing.  We were presented with 2 possible children that could be placed in our home.  In both cases, the agency or CPS decided to go with a different family.  Instead of saying to myself “God’s timing is perfect” or “The Lord is in control”, I said, “what is wrong with us?  how could this be?  why aren’t we being picked?”  My approval idol reared its ugly head.  Lord, forgive me.

Tonight, I’m going to dwell in God’s timing and perfect plan for us.  He is reminding me of His desire for me to trust and follow him.  It is no mistake that those children are not in our home tonight.  In His power, He knew they were not meant to be ours.  I am remembering what I said in an earlier post.  That the Almighty Creator of the Universe knows the hairs on my head, Jeff’s head, and our future child’s head.  He knows exactly who they are.  And I rest in that tonight.

 

Licensed!! March 1, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — chippinaway @ 3:51 am
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Well, it’s official! We are licenses foster parents! Let the waiting begin!

Sorry for the short post. I’ll write more later.