They boys have been here for 4 days. Is that all? In some ways it seems so much longer. I love them. I really do. But these 4 days have been wonderful and extremely difficult at the same time.
Big dude has not trouble sleeping in his room. He likes all his toys and his chair at the dinner table. He likes to run around outside and has even learned to “pat pat” the dog. He loves Jeff. And he loves his little brother. He squeals with delight when he sees him after a nap, or in the morning when everyone has woken up. He has the best smile in the world, and the most awesome curly hair. We even took him for a haircut today. He cried. I laughed. It was a cherished memory.
Little man is probably the happiest baby in the world. He only fusses when he’s hungry or tired. The first night he woke up twice. The second night he woke up once. The last 2 nights he’s slept pretty much straight through the night. He loves to be tickled, he loves to chew on anything, and he loves to chat! He squeels and coos and it is music to my ears. He is also well on his way to crawling. I give him another week and we’ll have to mobile children
Me and Jeff are doing good. We are tired. We are emotionally spent. We are overwhelmed and yet at peace. Going from no kids to 2 is quite an adjustment, but we are loving it. Our house if full of squeels and giggles. As well as spit up and poop. and it’s awesome.
All of that sounds so joyous. But let me tell you. This has also been the hardest 4 days I’ve ever experienced. Big dude is old enough to know that his life is disrupted. He knows his real mom. He knows I am not it. He sobbed when we left our visit with her yesterday and my heart broke. I’ll write another post about visits, but yesterday was a huge eye opening experience for me. To see their young mom so broken over leaving her kids. Seeing our sweet, happy, boy sob with crocodile tears rolling down his cheeks, crying for “momma.” We broke. We finally saw first hand the brokenness of this. All around, for mom and kids, this is gross. She loves her kids. They love her. She’s made poor choices and has grown up in a less-than-awesome environment. The state took her kids. I hate this for my sweet boys. I hate this for their young mom. This is the perfect illustration of our broken world. I want Jesus to return more now than ever. Come quickly, Lord.
As you can tell, this is a whirlwind. Know this, though. We are more confident than ever about our call to this ministry. We love those boys and are so thankful to care for them and love them, for however long they are here. We are confident that God is good, even in a broken situation. We are confident that we are growing, too. So much growth in 4 days. So many laughs. So many tears. and so many prayers. We are blessed.