Today I miss my boys. It’s been a month since they left and I feel like it’s been so much longer. I miss waking up to their chatter. I miss having someone to talk to all day. Even if it is talking about colors, shapes, poop, and uh ohs. I miss being a mommy.
The thing is, I still feel like a mom. I just feel like a mom without kids. It’s so weird. We’ve had a couple opportunities come up where it seemed like we would get some more kids and those just fell through. I’m so disappointed. I want some sweet faces to fill that room upstairs. I want to hear little voices again, and I want to be a part of God’s fight for the fatherless. And I hate waiting.
Remember when this all started and I was all complainy (yes I just made up a word) about waiting? Well, now it feels different. I’ve had a taste of what this is and I just can’t wait to do it again. Even though this has been really hard, I would do it and will do it all over again. Because God told us to. And because it’s what I was made to do. The Lord has shown up over and over in this journey, and I know He will show up again.
Today I miss the boys. And today I trust the Lord.